i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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