Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just threw up on my dentist
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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