My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
