i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
