My hair reeks of homosexuality.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
