i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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