You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
