I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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