Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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