did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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