By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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