I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
