I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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