Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
