Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
