I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
