can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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