she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
