This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
