A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
