when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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