Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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