it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
