there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
