We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The beer is more important than you right now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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