I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
you made out with another girl for some wings
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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