so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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