i don't like sucking hair
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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