i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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