she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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