where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
