when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
