I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The chlamydia really affected his face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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