I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
