Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
