i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
