So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
50% drunk capacity currently
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
