Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
