I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
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Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom