my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me