Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
