What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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