is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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