She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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