what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
