I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
