I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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