sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am available for nakedness
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
