You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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