Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
