i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
