I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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