they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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