I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
