South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
