i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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