i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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