I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
