She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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