By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
