ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
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We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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