I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
