matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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