I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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