she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
